^ 8 Months Pregnant with Lina!
So I have gotten some inboxes, emails, and DMs with topics you guys want me to write about (I’m still so excited that you guys LOVE reading this and are becoming involved and are sending me blog ideas!) I decided every Tuesday I will dedicate my blog to all of you, focusing on your questions, topics, ETC!
Todays topic (personal but I swear, I can NOT tell you how many times this has come up!) is How To Keep The Passion In The Bedroom After Becoming Mom & Dad
Now while i’m no relationship expert I know how important it is to a marriage to keep a things spicy with your significant other. The two things i heard the most while I was pregnant was, “say goodbye to sleep” and “say goodbye to sex”. I couldn’t help but laugh, because lets be real, i’m not willing to say goodbye to either. I understand sleep can get limited for some moms (I lucked out in that department, my daughter loves sleep as much as I do) but you’re telling me that just because a baby is added that means there’s no more intimacy? Think back to the first time you and your significant other met, think of the passion you felt for each other, the excitement you felt when you were getting ready to go on a date with them, the risks you both took maybe by something as little as showing a little PDA in a restaurant because you just couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and the spark that there was (hopefully still is). Why does society say that has to end after being a mom? I’m telling you right now, as a mom, and a wife, it DOESN’T. Not if you don’t want it too. If anything, seeing my husband with our daughter makes him MORE sexy to me. There’s something about a man taking care of whats his, and knowing that amazing man is mine that is a total turn on.
I found there were three big reasons why new parents aren’t intimate. I hear a lot of women complaining he doesn’t do the dishes when I ask, he doesn’t ever cook dinner, he just expects me to, or he doesn’t make me feel like he even wants me. I get it, I’ve been there, my Husband is totally incapable of putting toilet paper on the roll when the previous runs out. But i KNOW that, and I do it, you didn’t marry a maid or a housekeeper. Of course, we argue and get into our fair share of disagreements but at the end of the day, holding out being intimate is going to do nothing but tear us apart more. It’s not really solving the problem, it may temporarily but the only way to solve the “he doesn’t” issues are to communicate AND think of all the things he does do! The next reason, is “there’s not enough time and i’m just too tired.” and the third reason is us moms lost our “sexy”. I understand, being a new mom, having new responsibilities, a new body, is difficult but connecting on an intimate level with the person you love can make it a little better!
Tips that work for me in keeping that spark alive!
- FLIRT with your husband. Something as little as a wink while out with friends, or a “wow babe, that hat looks really good on you”
- Be Confident. who doesn’t LOVE a woman with confidence?
- Make time, in any way that works for you! If he is always falling asleep before you, wake him up in a way he will love. Or instead of watching ‘The Real Housewives’ take those 30 minutes to “connect” (insert wink here)
- Switch it up, buy a sexy little outfit, put some makeup on, change up your hair, or even just spray on some perfume. What ever makes YOU feel good. Your husband thinks you’re beautiful! Even if you have stretch marks or if you belly now hangs over your pants when it never used to, remember you’re beautiful, YOUR body grew a human, that belly kept your baby safe. Each one of your stretch marks or rolls are a reminder of your strength, YOUR BODY is incredible, appreciate it. *if he ever makes you feel like you’re not or says comments about your body or looks after carrying his child for 9 months, then there are bigger issues to handle here.
- Send a sexy text. What ever your comfortable with, could be something as simple as “Can’t wait until you get home” or “Can’t stop thinking of you” let him know you’re thinking of him and that YOU want HIM!
- Initiate it! Some times our significant other won’t try simply because we aren’t trying.
- Have alone time. Get a sitter, go grab a beer or a glass of wine & let the rest come naturally, may lead to some steamy kissing in the parking lot of your favorite bar.
- Communicate. I swear my husband is the worlds worst communicator, BUT, after we have a good talk where both of us listen to HEAR and not listen to REPLY, I swear something happens, a spark just goes off.
- Don’t Schedule it! Don’t make your love life a job. Don’t plan on being intimate every Friday night. Let it just happen!
- Naptime! Every child has to nap. Put your little angel in their crib, lock your door, you know the rest!
- Your husband is not your child. He doesn’t need to take orders from his wife, you guys are equal, while one may do more than the other, if there is an issue and you’re sick of it, COMMUNICATE! Don’t “hold out” from intimacy.
- Have FUN! Do something that brought you together, Making music, go see live music, try a new restaurant!
- Therapy. If there is resentment, communication, or other bigger issues go talk to someone!
Us Before one of our date nights after having Lina. Yes Snapchat filters make everything the bomb, and yes I had purple hair! I’m a hair dresser, what do you expect?!
Hopefully some of those tips will help you! If any of you have some tips or tricks that i didn’t mention and helped you, please feel free to comment below!