Separation Anxiety

So being a stay at home/ work from home mom has been amazing to say the least! I love watching my baby grow every second of every day. So many mamas love their alone time and want 20 minutes to run to the store and just have their “me” time and I think that is so amazing for them, BUT I just don’t have that want in me! It’s hard for me to want to leave my girl for even a dinner date night with hubby.. and she doesn’t like it too much either, until glamma (my mom) comes over with snacks. The reason I’m writing this is because tonight my husband went out for his bi weekly guys night, where him and his group of guy friends go to one of their houses and have a “jam” night. (they all play an instrument & pretty damn well might I add!) I couldn’t help but think how I haven’t actually gone out in forever, but I didn’t mind it at all, I really have no desire to.

The first time I had to leave her was awful. Elliot and I were going on our honeymoon cruise to Bermuda and while we had some fun, the whole time I was a nervous reck, there was hardly communication, and the person watching her before she went to my moms, decided to make their own rules and plans against what we said for our daughter. It was such a disappointment, but everything is a lesson learned and this really made us limit the people we trust to watch her and respect our decisions as her parents.

While that situation made me never want to leave her again, and I didn’t for a long time after that, it wasn’t the only reason I never want to leave my girl. Some people say it’s not healthy and I need me time and time to hang out with my friends. But I already do all that! When Lina goes to sleep, that is my time, I’ll take a bath, do yoga, have a glass of wine, or just relax! I don’t need to leave my house to have me time. I also love that my friends love my daughter because we do have girls nights and they come over, I cook or order food, they bring wine and we have a great time with my daughter being there. She’s my best friend and we do everything together, shopping, lunch dates, mani/pedis, we do it all and I wouldn’t want it any other way! I know this isn’t how many moms think and in no way do I judge or think these moms are crazy, every single person is different and have different wants and needs and that is ok!

Whenever I leave her, I feel like a part of me that is supposed to be there isn’t, and while I know as she grows I may or may not need that me time and a break but as of right now I have not ever felt that feeling. If anything leaving her stresses me out more. I have always wanted to be a mom and have a family. Having a career was important to me but not the most important, family has always been most important. I grew up in an extremely close and loving family, while my mom and I have always been best friends and she showed me an enormous amount of love, my Mema and I were definitely inseparable, and I think she was the one that showed me you can never spend too much time or show too much love to some one. I thank god every day for the time we shared and I want Lina to have these memories with me too. I know going out for a couple hours isn’t going to make Lina not have these fun memories, but I genuinely enjoy having my girl with me all the time!

That being said when Glamma does watch her while Elliot and I have a date night, she is 100% fine and content with her (she comes over every week to see Lina so she is comfortable with her and loves being with her) but I can’t lie and say I don’t still cry every time we leave!

kisses for Glamma! ( Yes! That’s really my MOM!)

Any other mamas with me?? *Crickets* I know … I’m crazy, I’m just so grateful I have such an amazing daughter that is so fun to hang out with!

XO

4 thoughts on “Separation Anxiety

  1. Becky says:

    Honey ,
    I was the same exact way too a TEE!
    Never went out without my kids, never felt the need too , I used too get looked down upon but really I never cared , in the end she’s your daughter your best friend & you don’t need ” this away ” time most mom’s talk or & still do talk ” about because you enjoy your daughters company theres nothing too get alone from …
    It used too bother me when I was younger but I came too a point were I knew who I trusted with MY children the best person was ME, again they NEVER bothered me, not saying I didn’t have nights out but they loved it too , lol, with all this Erica you know your daughter best , you do you ! With her ! There’s nothing wrong with it. Its called Bond
    Love
    &
    Hugs
    &
    Kisses 😘😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

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